Operation:Little Red Riding Hood
by Government Paranoia
Summary: Metal GearSplinter Cell CrossoverSnake, Raiden, and Sam Fisher team up to take on a terrorist cell called Thge Brothers Grimm that bases all of their crimes on nursery rhymes and fables. The only problem is, the new reluctant partners just can't get alon
1. Chapter 1: Reluctant Alliance

Please no flames, this is my first fic and fire will crush my creative spirit.

I'll post the next chapter once I get some good reviews.

ENJOY!

Oh, also I don't own Metal Gear Solid, Splinter Cell, any of the characters in either game, Seattle, or anything else I might have forgotten to mention.

**Chapter 1: Reluctant Alliance**

It was a stormy day in Seattle, all the people were so busy trying to get out of the rain and get on with their business, that they hardly noticed the shadowy figure walking slowly through the rain. The tall person had a long, black poncho; a hood shrouded their face in shadow. They abruptly stopped and turned into, turned into a dark alleyway, and quietly slipped into an abandoned warehouse, shutting the door behind them.

As he shut the door, Sam Fisher removed his poncho, and looked around at his surroundings. 'Why did Lambert choose an abandoned warehouse?' he thought to himself. He casually threw his poncho aside and walked toward the center of the room. All of a sudden, the lights flickered on; there stood an older, dark skinned man with curly gray hair.

"It's good to see you again, Fisher." said Lambert in a friendly tone.

"Good Morning, Lambert, is it smart to put so much light on in this place?" replied Sam, trying to mask the concern in his voice.

"Don't worry, all the windows are boarded up, no one will suspect a thing. Now Sam, I'm going to get right to the point, we have an extremely important mission for you." said Lambert, his tone changing quickly from friendly to serious.

"Let me guess, I'm going to save our country, no, the world, single handedly from some nut job that got himself some nukes. It's no different from any other mission I've ever gone on, Lambert."

"Well, you're partly right Fisher. You will be saving the world from terrorists, but you won't be doing it alone."

"Huh? You mean like another team giving me advice remotely or something?"

"No, what I mean is that you're going to have two partners working in the field with you."

"WHAT?" for the first time in his life, Sam was completely at a loss for words.

"Fisher, even you won't be able to complete this mission alone. I suggest you develop some people skills fast because if I'm not mistaken, one of your new teammates has just arrived."

Lambert and Sam turned to look at the door as another hooded figure entered the warehouse.

"Sam, I'd like you to meet the first of your new teammates, Solid Snake." said Lambert with a smile on his face.

Snake pulled off his poncho and threw it roughly to the ground, he was not very happy at the prospect of being on a team. He still remembered the conversation he had with Otacon the previous evening.

_Begin Flashback_

_"You can't be serious!" Snake yelled into the telephone._

_"Sorry Snake, but even you need help sometimes. I also happen to know that your new partners will be experts. Anyway, you don't need to snap at me like that, I'm only the messenger!" said Otacon, clearly annoyed._

_"Fine but I still bet that I'm gonna get stuck with a couple of rookies." Snake growled._

_"Snake, these guys are the best of the best! I know that one of them has a track record as impressive as yours! Any how, it's already been decided you'll meet them tomorrow morning in an abandoned warehouse in Seattle, Washington, I'm e-mailing you the address along with a plane ticket." with that, Otacon hung up and Snake angrily started packing._

_End Flashback_

"Where's Otacon?" Snake asked.

"He's back at HQ with the rest of your remote support team, ready to render assistance should you need it. Well, I guess I should introduce you to one of your new partners. Snake, this is Sam Fisher. Sam, this is Solid Snake." Lambert said with an amused smile on his face.

Sam and Snake shook hands, both trying to fake a smile, but they were only able to manage pained expressions. Suddenly, there was a sound as a third cloaked figure dramatically stepped through the door and then walked to the center of the room. He still had his poncho on.

"Sam, Snake, meet your new partner…" Lambert was promptly cut off by the cloaked figure holding up his hand

"I'll introduce myself, thank you." said the figure as he began to remove his poncho.

Snake's eyes grew wide with horror as he watched the hood fall.

"Oh God no, not you! Not again!" shouted Snake as the poncho fell to the ground.

"Hey! It's me, Raiden! Remember me?" said the young, blonde agent in a bubbly voice.

"Fisher, this is Raiden, the last of your new teammates." Lambert was trying to hold back a chuckle as he said this.

Sam looked at Raiden; he had one thought going through his mind, 'Where did they find this guy? Wait, I don't think I want to know where they got him.'

"Raiden, this is Sam Fisher, you already seem to know Snake."

"Nice to meet you!" said Raiden, smiling as he shook Sam's cringing hand.

"Touch me and you're gonna lose that hand, blondie!" Snake snarled as Raiden tried to shake his hand.

"Now, the first part of your mission is to spend the rest of the day together, I want you all too actually want to keep each other from dying." He said the last part with a stern glance in Snake's direction.

"Oh Goodie! That sounds like so much fun!" this remark was greeted by a growl and a rude hand gesture from Snake.

"I want you all to learn enough about each other that any one of you could make up for any mistakes the others might make. Here, we've taken the liberty of buying you three a hotel room, now I suggest that you go change into your street clothes before you have you 'Guys' day out'. I don't think people are used to seeing sneaking suits worn in the streets. Report back here tomorrow morning at nine to be briefed for your mission. Now have fun!" this time, Lambert didn't even bother to hide his laughter.

"Come on, the sooner we get changed the sooner we can all have fun!" said Raiden as he put on his poncho.

Once the others had their ponchos on, Raiden pushed them out the door and down the street towards their hotel.

End of Chapter One

Well, how did you people like it? I'll post the next chapter after I get some good reviews, I'm thinkin' five maybe.

Well, Good Bye until next time!


	2. Chapter 2: A Day on the Town

A/N: Well, hello again! Sorry for not updating for so long. I promise this chapter will have even more hilarity than the last, Justin Timberlake and or Lance Bass **will** be involved! Oh, I don't own Metal Gear, Splinter Cell, Sam Fisher, Snake, Raiden, McDonald's, Britney Spears(thank god), NSync, Viggo Mortinsen, or anything else I forgot to mention.

I would also like to thank the following people for their reviews…

-small-nicole

-The Bigger Boss

-Aqua Phoenix1

-emilie72793

-Your worst nightmare oO

This Chapter is dedicated to all of you, you all **ROCK OUT LOUD!**

Well, enjoy chapter 2 of Operation: Little Red Riding Hood!

**Chapter 2: A Day on the Town**

Snake, Raiden, and Sam were walking around trying to figure out something to do. They had gone to their hotel room and changed a few hours ago, they couldn't figure out any type of plan for the day, so they decided they would just wander until something caught their eye. Snake and Sam had both decided on wearing pretty casual clothing, Snake of course in his trademark bandanna. Raiden, in contrast looked as though he were dressed for clubbing. His sparkling purple shirt and leather pants attracted many stunned looks from passersby.

Sam, who had been weary of Raiden from the beginning, was avoiding any interaction with him like the plague. He had already made a mountain of excuses, should any circumstance require him to be alone in a room with Raiden. 'I've met terrorists that scared me less than this guy.' Sam thought to himself. While Raiden had been changing, he had gotten a chance to chat with Snake; it seemed that he had worked with Raiden before. Sam remembered the reactions of Snake when they had seen Raiden's clothing choice.

_(Begin Flashback)_

"_What the Hell!" screamed Snake, as Raiden walked out of the bathroom._

"_Oh come on Snake, these are some of the best clothes on the market." said Raiden with a smile._

"_You're wearing purple sequins! We're supposed to be keeping a low profile!" screamed Snake, he was so angry he was practically foaming at the mouth._

"_Oh, well I guess it was a good idea not to wear my Viggo Mortinsen shirt after all." said Raiden, his smile beginning to falter._

"_Your what? You have a shirt with Viggo Mortinen's face on it?"_

"_Well, of course I do!"_

"_What do you mean, 'Of course I do'?"_

_During the whole exchange between Snake and Raiden, Sam had just stood there, watching, stunned. 'I need a strong drink' he thought to himself._

"_First, of all, my shirt doesn't have sequins, its glitter! Second, my clothes are fabulous, and you know it!"_

"_What? Did you just say 'fabulous'?" yelled Snake, eyes wide._

"_Yes I did!" Raiden yelled angrily._

"_Oh, I'm sorry for snapping at you. I'll find someway to make it up to you." said Raiden sincerely; his angry face and tone had softened._

"_Screw you, ya sequin wearin' freak! I don't want anything you've touched!" Snake growled, making a crude hand gesture in Raiden's direction._

_(End Flashback)_

"Oh, let's go to the mall!" Raiden yelled, beaming.

"Just when I thought you couldn't get any stranger." muttered Snake.

They entered the mall; Raiden's eyes were wide with joy. He ran towards the music store, Sam and Snake reluctantly followed.

The three of them split up once they got into the store. As Raiden rummaged through the cd's, a particular album caught his eye.

"Oh, this looks like the perfect gift for Snake! Sam might also like it!" Raiden took the two cd's to the cashier and bought them, Sam and Snake were already waiting outside of the shop.

"So, what'd you buy?" asked Sam, trying to make conversation.

"That's a secret, but you'll both find out soon enough!" said Raiden, giggling.

"Yeah, whatever, fruit-loop. Since we're in a mall we may as well look for some good stores." said Snake, he hadn't heard Raiden's comment.

"Oooh, let's go in here!" yelled Raiden, pointing to Claire's.

"HELL NO!" yelled Snake.

"Can we go to Suncoast?" asked Raiden.

"Actually, that sounds like a good idea to me." said Sam.

"Yeah, you have a good idea for once." grumbled Snake.

They entered the store and went looking for a movie to buy. After about ten minutes, Raiden ran up to Sam and Snake, holding a DVD.

"How about this one guys?" asked Raiden, smiling as always.

"Well, what is it?" asked Sam, he was beginning to think that Raiden wasn't all that bad.

"It's Crossroads!" squealed Raiden gleefully, catching a look of dismay from Sam and one of pure loathing.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Snake screamed, catching looks from all of the people in the store.

"Why don't we forget about the movie? It's about time to get something for dinner anyways." said Sam.

Snake agreed, at the time, he cared more about filling his empty stomach than his hatred for Raiden.

They all decided to eat at McDonalds, no matter how unhealthy it was. Raiden walked in first, followed by Sam and Snake. They all ordered and sat down at a booth near the window.

"Been a long time since I had fast food." said Snake after he had taken a bite of his cheeseburger.

Same goes for me. The last time I ate at McDonalds was with my daughter, Sarah, when she was still a kid." said Sam; a slightly sad look crossed his face as he remembered how little of his daughter's childhood he had been around for.

"You have a kid?" asked Snake, trying his best to get his mind off his hatred for Raiden.

"Yeah, well, she's not really a 'kid' anymore." said Sam with a smile.

"Oh, Sammy do you have any pictures of her? I bet she's absolutely adorable!" said Raiden, grinning.

"Nah, I don't carry pictures of her around with me. I mean, I'm a constant target for terrorists, if I were captured then I wouldn't want the terrorists to know my daughter's face." explained Sam.

"Oh, well I guess that makes sense." said Raiden, a somewhat remorseful tone in his voice.

Snake had sat back and listened to Sam talk to Raiden about his daughter. 'Maybe it's time for me to try being a little nicer to Raiden. I mean, he really hasn't done anything that bad.' Snake thought to himself, munching his cheeseburger.

"I almost forgot, I got you guys' gifts!" said Raiden, a huge smile on his face.

He reached into his bag and pulled out two small, square packages. He then gave one to Sam and the other to Snake.

"Well, open them!" he said, smiling.

Snake, who in spite of himself was actually pretty excited about receiving a gift, tore at the wrapping, Sam following suit. All of a sudden Snake and Sam froze eyes wide at the sight of the now, unwrapped gifts.

"What…the…hell." said Snake, his voice terrifyingly calm.

"Raiden, Is this what I think this is?" asked Sam, trying his hardest to keep under control.

"They sure are! Hey, what's wrong you guys don't you like Justin Timberlake?" asked Raiden.

Snake held out the offending product, which was indeed a Justin Timberlake cd, in his right hand and put it in front of Raiden.

"Get…your…money…back." he growled menacingly.

"No, they're gifts for the two of you, and who knows, they may come in handy!"

"When will a Justin Timberlake cd 'come in handy'!" Snake said, in a mocking rendition of Raiden's voice.

"I don't know, but I gotta use the bathroom, be right back." said Raiden.

As he left, Snake made a motion to signal Sam that he wanted to talk with him.

"This is the last straw. I've got a plan to get him to act like a normal person, but I'm gonna need you're help. You in?" hissed Snake.

Sam nodded, the image of Justin Timberlake's pouty face etched into his mind forever, thanks to Raiden.

Snake and Sam whispered over the details of their plan until Raiden came back from the bathroom, they had everything figured out.

"What's so funny guys?" said Raiden, he had noticed Sam and Snake smiling as he sat back down at the table.

"Oh, that's a secret, but you'll know soon enough!" replied Snake, imitating Raiden's voice.

The first stage of Sam and Snake's plan was already underway.

**End of Chapter Two**

A/N: This time I'm looking for maybe 3 reviews till my next update, anyone who's already reviewed is welcome to review again. Also, when you do review tell me what you think of this idea, I write this fanfic in a notebook, so a lot gets edited out before I post, I was thinking of maybe, when the story is complete I'll post a sort of 'Deleted Scenes' chapter. Tell me what you think of that idea and this second chapter!

Also, I'd just like to point out that I **don't **hate Raiden, nor do I think he's gay. I just think his character is totally set up for humor.

Buh-Bye until next time,

GP out yo!


	3. Chapter 3: The Plan, Phase 1

A/N: I am soooooooo sorry! I haven't updated in so long! I just have been so busy with school and the whatnot, and then my hamster died and I didn't feel like writing. I hope that me trying to make this an extra good chapter will be able to take the place of me committing seppuku for your forgiveness. I really don't want to stick a katana in my gut.

Enjoy chapter 3! –Ummm… This is me writing again and it's been like, a year. Sorry! As you have probably guessed, my being in AP and Honors classes and the whatnot has somewhat changed my writing style. I hope you enjoy it, and I would enjoy reviews so, please write:)

**Chapter 3: The secret plan commences**

Raiden was feeling a sense of elation as he walked through the streets, Sam and Snake in tow. Things finally seemed to be going right for him. Snake had even suggested that they all go to a karaoke bar and have some fun. Maybe if Raiden weren't so naïve, he would have been suspicious of Snake asking to go to a place where old businessmen and drunkards sing to Brittney Spears songs.

'God, this guy is stupid' thought Snake, 'Does he honestly think that I would want to go to a karaoke bar. Not just that, but go to a karaoke bar with **him**. How did he survive this long as a spy? Must just be bad fortune on my part.' Snake started to laugh.

Sam shuddered, hearing Snake laugh was not very pleasant. Of course he could understand, with what they had planned for Raiden and all.

'Honestly though, who believes that he's being invited into some secret college brotherhood, and how could he fall for the ploy that Sam and Snake had gone to college together? Snake is like, 12 years older than I am!' Sam thought.

Finally, they had arrived at the karaoke bar.

"Hey, Raiden, its time to give you a proper initiation to the brotherhood!" said Snake, a seriously faked smile on his face.

They walked into the bar, where Raiden was immediately distracted by a drunk guy with a wastebasket on his head singing random folk music up on the stage.

"Wow, this place is pretty lively isn't it?" said Raiden.

"Wouldn't know, never been here before. Now let's stop with the questions and order, Raiden, you're ruining everyone's good time!" Sam said, clearly nervous.

"I'll have a mojito!" at this, everyone in the bar went quiet and stared.

"No you won't! You'll be having beer, so for a while we can pretend that you aren't a total Chiquita brand fruit cup." Snake yelled, casting a murderous glance at everyone in the bar.

"Okay pal, bottoms up!" said a cheerful Sam, patting Raiden on the back as he drank the beer.

**4 Hours and 12 beers later…**

"I can't believe he hasn't passed out yet." said Sam, jaw agape.

"Damn! Why didn't I realize they wouldn't have sent an idiot like him into the field without protection!" hissed Snake (yes I realize the awful pun, please don't flame me for it).

"Snake, what do condoms have to do with this!?!"

"No! Not anything like that! What I mean is that they must have given him some kind of treatment to help his body to process toxins at a rapid rate."

"Snake, come on, that kind of thing is expensive, if it even exists! I doubt that they would think he was stupid enough to warrant that kind of spending."

"Well think about it Sam, he just drank an opened beverage offered to him by two people who openly hate him!"

"Oh, you might be right there."

Raiden, at the time, was sobbing something about how David Copperfield had stolen his ideas when something inside Snake snapped.

"That's it Sam! I'm using the tranquilizer gun on him!" even as he said this, Snake reached for the tranq gun that he always kept hidden in his jacket.

"No Snake! Despite the fact that it's one in the morning, this bar is still packed, someone would see you." Sam then had a bit of a thought, "Uh, Snake? Why do you have that gun with you at a bar?"

"Well I was in a bad bar fight a while back and… well, suffice it to say that waking up in an ice-filled bathtub in a dirty hotel room in Tijuana. But enough about that! I'm going to mix the tranquilizer from the dart into some water and give it to him in that." Said Snake, surprisingly merciful for once.

At that point Raiden began to sing very loudly. "Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily life ish buuuuttt a dreeeaaammm!!!! You know guysh, I wrote that shong fer you two a few years ago when I was stationed in hiccup Narnia!I love you all!" He then walked over to the pinball machine so he could profess his undying love.

"I think I'll put this pill in that water too, Lambert said it's supposed to dissolve toxins in the blood stream, so it should work on alcohol too."

Sam dropped a small, red pill into the tranquilizer filled water. As soon as the pill made contact with the water it started to fizz and change color rapidly.

"Uhh, Sam, just how experimental is that thing?"

"I'm just starting to wonder that myself, but it can't be too dangerous, or else the government wouldn't have put it in my gear, right?"

Sam picked up the glass of fizzy, color changing water and called to Raiden(he was about to ask the pinball machine to marry him at the time), "Hey pal I've got something for you!"

**End of Chapter 3**

**Next Time: Phase 2 of the plan!**

A/N: Once again, I'm really sorry for taking so long to update, I'll put up the next chapter when I get the time. It might not be for a while though, because my AP World History exam is coming up pretty soon. Then I have field study for Honors Biology and a whole bunch of other crap to deal with. Well, bye until next time pals!

-GP out yo!


End file.
